The Spaniard That Blighted My Life
Words and Music by Billy Merson

Listen to a version by Al Jolson.

Verse 1:
List to me while I tell you of the Spaniard that blighted my life;
List to me while I tell you of the man who pinched my future wife.
'Twas at the bull fight where we met him, we'd been watching his daring display,
And while I went out for some nuts and a program the dirty dog stole her away
Oh yes! Oh yes! But I've sworn that I'll have my revenge!

Chorus:
If I catch Alphonso Spagoni*, the Toreador,
With a mighty swipe I will dislocate his bally jaw!
I'll find this bullfighter, I will, and when I catch the bounder, the blighter I'll kill.
He shall die! He shall die! He shall die tiddly-I-it-it-it-it-it-it!
He shall die! He shall die!
For I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion if I catch him bending tonight!

Verse 2:
Yes, when I catch Spagoni he will wish that he'd never been born.
And for this special reason, my stiletto I've fetched out of pawn.
If cost me five shillings to fetch it, this expense it has caused me much pain,
But the pawnbroker's promised when I've killed Spagoni, he'll take it in pawn once again.
Oh yes! Oh yes! So tonight there will be dirty work.

Chorus:
If I catch Alphonso Spagoni*, the Toreador,
With a mighty swipe I will dislocate his bally jaw!
I'll find this bullfighter, I will, and when I catch the bounder, the blighter I'll kill.
He shall die! He shall die! He shall die tiddly-I-it-it-it-it-it-it!
He shall die! He shall die!
For I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion if I catch him bending tonight!

Verse 3:
I tracked him to London, and he gave me the slip once again,
And they told me this morning that he'd doubled and gone back to Spain.
But whatever it costs me I'll catch him, then no more will he give me the slip.
With my last one and nine pence on Sunday I'm going to Spain by the Sunday League trip.
Oh yes! Oh yes! And then the dark deed will be done.

Chorus:
If I catch Alphonso Spagoni*, the Toreador,
With a mighty swipe I will dislocate his bally jaw!
I'll find this bullfighter, I will, and when I catch the bounder, the blighter I'll kill.
He shall die! He shall die! He shall die tiddly-I-it-it-it-it-it-it!
He shall die! He shall die!
For I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion if I catch him bending tonight!