A Thing He Had Never Done Before
(George Robey)

The wind it blowed, the snow it snowed, the lightning it did light
The rain came down as usual, and, brethren, well it might;
For had not darling papa come home sober that same night,
A thing he had never done before!
It took us all our time to hold the bulldog Patsy Burke;
And mama tore her hair and started raving like a Turk,
When papa calmly told us that he'd been and done some work,
A thing he had never done before!

CHORUS:
'Twas a thing he had never done before,
Though he'd often been to prison to be sure;
It killed our sister Ruth,
When he went and spoke the truth,
A thing he had never done before.

That very same papa was overjoyed last Sunday morn,
He'd never been so jolly since the day that I was born,
For he got his only pair of trousers out of pawn,
A thing he had never done before!
When mama saw that papa was a-treading virtue's path,
She said, Salvation Army-like, "Oh! what a soul he hath!"
She sold the clock for fourpence and then went and had a bath,
A thing she had never done before!

CHORUS:
'Twas a thing he had never done before,
Though he'd often been to prison to be sure;
It killed our sister Ruth,
When he went and spoke the truth,
A thing he had never done before.